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EMOTIONAL CONSEQUENCES OF EACH  PREGNANCY OPTION

A woman who is faced with an unplanned pregnancy often feels uncertain about the future of her pregnancy.  Once her initial feelings of confusion subside, she may want to consider her pregnancy options (continuing her pregnancy and keeping the baby, continuing her pregnancy and relinquishing the baby through adoption, or terminating the pregnancy).   Women in the first trimester of their pregnancy are already experiencing physiological symptoms of pregnancy with physical changes to their body, as well as elevated hormonal levels.  These changes can make the decision-making process more difficult.

How then can she make an appropriate decision that will best meet her needs? 

Some women find it helpful to take time on their own (perhaps away from well-intentioned family and friends) to simply focus on themselves to give them the space to reflect or meditate on their situation.  Although this may not be a normal way for you to react, taking time for yourself, away from the distractions of your life, can be very beneficial by allowing you to attain an awareness of self – your values and beliefs and the reality of your circumstances.  Whilst often not a comfortable process, it may well assist you in reaching your decision.

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CONTINUING YOUR PREGNANCY AND KEEPING THE BABY

To make an informed decision about her pregnancy, the woman who is contemplating the option of allowing her pregnancy to progress so she can keep the baby, will need to look at issues in her life which will be affected by this decision.  Consideration may need to be given to:

  • completion of her study/schooling,
  • forgoing or postponing the opportunity to pursue her chosen career;
  • changes to her social life;
  • accessing sufficient financial support;
  • relationship prospects for the future;
  • her ability to parent;
  • availability of support networks – family/ friends/ community. 

Becoming aware of some of the unknown joys which parenthood can bring you, may be of benefit in the decision-making process.  Some positive aspects to reflect on include:

  • having the experience of the birth of your baby;
  • observing your child’s milestones;
  • sharing in the stages of your child’s growth and development;
  • developing your own unique relationship with your child;
  • personal development and growth.

Be aware that the physiological changes of pregnancy can influence your decision-making.  It is helpful then, to:

  • take time to make your decision;
  • weigh up your reasons for and against keeping the baby;
  • talk your issues through fully with supportive family and friends or a qualified counsellor.

RELINQUISHING THE CHILD THROUGH ADOPTION

Birthparents will usually experience great ambivalence when making a decision to adopt their baby.  How can I carry a baby to full term only to give it away?
                               
Deciding to adopt a baby is undoubtedly a life-changing decision, but can be a viable option for the birthmother/parent who wishes to give her baby life rather than choosing to terminate her pregnancy.
 
For some, the knowledge that their baby will go to a home which can provide the emotional, physical and financial support needed, is reason enough for the birthparent/s to feel a sense of peace with their decision.

For some time now, a woman who is considering adoption has been given time after the birth, to think about her decision in case she decides to change her mind and keep the baby.  As all states and territories in Australia have their own policy on adoption, it is best to contact the Adoption Office in your state to have your questions answered.

Pregnancy Counselling Link provides counselling support for women and their partners who may be thinking of adoption, and will help to facilitate the decision-making process.  Being able to express your feelings in a safe environment may help you to clarify your thoughts so that you can make the decision which is best for you.

TERMINATING THE PREGNANCY

When facing an unintended (unintentional) pregnancy, some women feel confused and overwhelmed with thoughts of possible consequences this will have – not only on herself but also on those who are close to her.  Sometimes a woman reasons that she has only one option to consider – that is, terminating her pregnancy.  She may believe that this is the only means of solving her problem, as she will no longer be pregnant.

Choosing the option of terminating the pregnancy can cause unexpected emotional issues for a woman.  There is often an immediate sense of relief once an abortion procedure is carried out, but feelings of regret afterwards may surface.  This can be triggered by day-to-day interactions of life – seeing other pregnant women, having pregnant friends or work colleagues, impending birth date, termination date can cause a woman much angst.  For many, these feelings subside and she is then able to move on with her life.  For some, these feelings remain and can escalate so that she feels great sadness which, in some cases, leads to depression, particularly if there is a previous history with depression or a family predisposition.  For these women, we encourage you to seek counselling so that you can resolve your issues.